Hello beauty bugs!
Today’s my birthday and I’m finally 21– its been a few years since I reached a cool milestone in my life. Gonna go out and order a fancy girly drink with dinner tonight, that’s for sure. Anyways, today marks the start of my 21st year on this planet, and I wanted to share 21 things I’ve learned along the way. Maybe you can learn something from me, or have learned the same things as I (and maybe the hard way too). Let’s get started:
1. If you meet a person who is genuinely always there for you, always wonders how you’re doing, and stands by you no matter what – HANG ONTO THEM! I met my best friend 7 years ago and we’ve been inseparable ever since. I often think about how much I owe to her for always being there for me through the worst (and the best of times). Nothing could ever tear us apart and for that I’m so thankful. Not many people are lucky enough to meet a friend like that in a lifetime, so I really do feel so grateful for her and hope she knows it (ILY JZ)! I’m also ever so thankful that I have my other best friend as my boyfriend, it’s the best feeling being able to connect to someone on so many different levels and have all the romance along with it. I can’t even put into words how grateful I am for everything he does and all the love and support he showers me with daily (F&A JM) 💕
2. Thoughts of hopelessness can be overwhelming, but always remember to count your blessings at the worst of times. It may seem like the world is over, but it’s not. Life goes on, pain surpasses and you only grow stronger. Just think of everything good in your life, even things as minuscule as your cat, and take a deep breath. You’re gonna be OK.
3. Everything changes, accept it. People change, for the better or for worse. You won’t be living the same life you are now in a year. You will change. This is how the universe works. Accept and embrace change, because it all will work out.
4. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I can’t stress this enough – these are words I LIVE BY. I don’t know my stance on religion at this age, I don’t feel as if a majority of 21 year olds do, but I do know that there is an underlying working mechanism for everything in this world. Whether its God governing this, or the universe itself, we may never know. But it all works together as it should. Trust in the universe (and this also means in the hardest of times).
5. You need to put your happiness first. I still struggle with this concept daily, and probably will the rest of my life. Naturally, I put others before myself. I’m compassionate and empathetic, I don’t want to ever make anyone feel hurt that I’ve felt, or any hurt for that matter. I want to leave everyone around me with a smile – which I think is good, until it starts to hurt me in the process. Young adulthood means learning who you are, and what you want in life, not what others want from you. Living your life for someone else is a sad existence. You only have one life in your body on this Earth, you need to live it for you and no body else. Inevitably, you’ll disappoint people, you’ll make people angry with you, but people get over it and move on. If you don’t live your life for you, you’ll never be truly happy.
6. College doesn’t make someone more intelligent than someone else. Don’t ever think getting a higher education makes you better than anyone who hasn’t. There is a difference between intelligent and educated.
7. If you don’t have something nice or intelligent to say, stay quiet. This is something I’ve lived by since I was really young, and my parents taught me this. I’m forever thankful for that. Don’t talk just to talk. Add to a conversation, stimulate someone’s mind, make someone feel good about themselves. I like to always keep this idea in the back of my mind: “if every word you ever spoke was tattooed onto your skin, would you still be beautiful?”
8. Do not mistake someone’s kindness for weakness. I’m a genuinely nice person; I love to make people smile and brighten someone’s day. But, please don’t mistake this for weakness. If you mess with the bull (Taurus pun), you will get the horns. Granted I usually keep my horns in check and rarely have to use them, but once you cross me, you’ll know you’ve messed up quite a bit my friend. Also, being nice to someone you don’t particularly like in my opinion is not being “fake”. It’s letting go of grudges, putting differences aside and enjoying the company of everyone on this planet (even if some days you really don’t enjoy their company at all).
9. NEVER EVER ASSUME SOMEONE ISN’T HURTING INSIDE. You don’t know what that McDonalds worker is going through when they go home at night, nor do you know what I’ve been through, or anyone else for that matter. I will never forget when someone commented a snarky line on a FB post I made a couple years back about a sensitive subject. I’m not public/open at all about my struggles or feelings, so this person had no idea what I was going through at the time (and my post was quite broad, although opinionated). All I know is I cried for hours because of this snarky comment that hit way too close to home. I don’t care how many FB thumbs up you’ll get from a condescending comment, or how pleased with yourself you’ll feel after you say it. You NEVER know what is going on in someone’s head or life behind closed doors. Do not be that asshole that ruins someones day.
10. Don’t get caught up in social media. When you’re 65 years old, are you really going to care about how you hit 1k followers on Instagram back in 2017? Do you take photos to post on your Instagram/Snapchat, or do you take photos to save memories? You won a subtweet battle on Twitter, are you happy with life now? You spent your entire dinner date on your iPhones instead of connecting with your SO. Instead of catching up with your grandmother on Thanksgiving, you’re too busy texting your friends about how you can’t wait to get back to school and party. You don’t live life for your social media accounts, you live life for you. Delete social media you can live without and limit the use of the others.
11. Don’t hold in your biggest anxieties. Share them with your SO, best friend, family member that you trust. If they’re truly worth knowing, they will never minimize your problems/fears and will coach you through it. No matter how bad the problem, how big the anxiety, support will always make you feel stronger.
12. Find a hobby and stick with it. This blog is mine. I recently got back into blogging because I decided to not limit myself to posting only about makeup (which was beginning to feel like a chore). I love to write how I feel, and I’m going to be posting more things like this as an electronic journal entry to share with you. This relaxes me, and makes me excited at the same time; I love writing.
13. Try your best to tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate them as much as possible. But also don’t worry that they don’t truly know how much you love them, because they do. It’s just nice to hear it sometimes.
14. It was just a bad day, it’s not a bad life. Being now 21 years old, I realize even though I feel as if I’ve already lived through so much, I still have much more than that to live through. I often look back and reflect on the bad times from years before and realize how thankful I am that things are different now. Then I think about all the bad times currently, and try to remind myself I’lll get through it. I haven’t even lived my life yet, it’s only just beginning. Bad times aren’t going to be as painful a few years from now. You just have to make it there.
15. Know when to grow up. This might sound harsh, I don’t mean for it to sound that way. But, time and time again, I notice my peers around me or check up on FB accounts of those I went to high school with are still acting like they did when we were 16 and had no care in the world. This is adulthood now. Getting older does suck, but it’s inevitable. You have to leave that reckless past behind you, because partying with high schoolers at age 24 is not only creepy but pathetic.
16. Don’t lose your temper. I know this is a hard one, but it’s something I live by. Of course, things make you angry, livid even. But I always say give it a few hours, maybe even a day. If the thought of what happened/what was said still makes your blood boil, confront it in a calm but stern manner. If it doesn’t, let it go.
17. People are going to look down upon you due to your age. Sometimes it’s for good reason, and sometimes it is not. Don’t let this bother you too much as you can’t change how others think. Just move on knowing you might be wiser than the 50 year old who shuts down everything you say.
18. College: it’s a mess. College is a jumbled up mess of young adults trying to bust their ass for a degree who don’t even know who they are yet. Remember: you don’t have to know what you want to be going into college. College will show you if you like something for real or not. Don’t be afraid to switch your major. You need to love the career you’ll have for the rest of your life. Don’t party too too much. Sure have fun, but if it affects your schoolwork, your health and relationships with those around you, cut down. Make sure you’re prepared for life after graduation; don’t live in the safety bubble of college and not plan for the future.
19. Cut off negative people. Don’t give a reason, they’re not worth it. Just stop interacting. You’ll feel so much better.
20. Boy (or girl) problems are inevitable, but they’re minuscule on the scope of other problems you could have. Be grateful that’s your biggest problem, because believe me, much people would rather have that problem than something else they’re going through. It’s not the end of the world. Work through it or let go. Whatever feels right. Listen to your heart because it knows what to do. It will work out for the better no matter what your heart chooses.
21. Expand your knowledge always. You will never know everything. Read, research for fun, make a conversation about it, but just expand your mind. It feels amazing. You never stop learning, and you have to enjoy it. It will open your mind and make you more accepting. It might change your opinion, but if not, at least you understand another perspective. (My latest research includes: astrology (I’ll make a post about this eventually, it’s so cool) & different religions- crazy to see how they all connect).
And my one goal for this 21st year of my life: make the change. Great things never come from comfort zones. As much as my Taurus self wishes I could stay in my comfort zone forever, I know that’s not how anything great gets done. I promised myself 2017 would be different, that I was going to learn to stand up for myself and what I want. Let’s do this.